Sunday, January 09, 2005

I need to tell on myself

Okay. I'm supposed to be writing. What am I doing instead? Well, blogging for one thing. But what I'm really doing, and I'm telling on myself because maybe if I see it online, I'll shut the fuck up about it, is obsessing. This summer, through a combination of stress and the miles and miles of walking I did to combat the stress, I got down to a size "O". Now that I'm less stressed, it's winter, and I'm lazy, my small clothes are tight. And I'm having apoplexy about it. Even as I'm having apoplexy, I'm beating myself up for becoming obsessed over size issues. I hate this culture. I hate that, desite my feminist principles, I've bought into the notion of smaller being better. Someone please slap me.

3 comments:

FunkyB said...

I can't slap you because I hear you - loudly in fact. I agree we could have great conversations. Thanks for checking out my blog, and thanks for posting your thoughts.

Sheryl said...

Even though I have never seen you, I'm sure you are very beautiful, Lorraine. I can just tell. :)

No matter what you look like or act like, someone will always think you are a Goddess, looking at you through rose colored glasses all the while. Someone else will think you are a clingy, pathological pain in the butt and demonize you for it. Someone else will think you are great, but be glad he is married. Someone will do you on the side and not tell you he's married. Some will admire you on the side, occassionally flirting and occassionally snubbing you. If you are in a good relationship with any stressors whatsoever, someone will convince you you could be happier out of it. And then we care whether we're fat!!!! Don't worry about it. You're beautiful and most men are just weird.

Sheryl said...

Oh, and if anyone is nasty to you or rejects you, don't worry. By the time you stop caring, are 100% healed, and have completely moved on, he will come back and apologize to you.